And you said so what, infatuation is good

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I just ate a whole fucking pint of blueberries while watching Palin's speech. Damn.

For some reason, there are few things more aggravating to me than dealing with automatic phone systems, so painstakingly designed to minimize your contact with actual human beings.

I was pissed that I wasn't keeping my writing chopz in shape...so I started a political blog, and I'm going to try to update it every couple of days. It's been fun so far. Visit.

Totally back in the Prortloland. Went to the Tube the other night and felt like I had stepped right into Stuff White People Like. Needless to say, I loved it and will return soon.

In other news, Portland has made me a total beer snob. It's terrible. Throughout our whole road trip it was like Coors/Miller/Bud and Amber Bock if you were lucky. I was saying to Eric the other night "You know it's getting bad when you look at Henry Weinhard's as the cheap, what-the-hell option."

Spent last weekend in Eugene and had a great time. I miss Eugene. I hope I can be there more this coming year.

Oregonian love.

I picked up the new Floater acoustic and it's pretty good. A welcome addition. Accepted and Albatross are my favorites.

...that's all, really.

Tweets for Today

03:05 Up at 3 30 to drive my dad to the freakin' airport. Harvie Heights is wonderful as always tho. #

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For some reason, this song has grown a lot more meaningful to me as time has progressed
A febrile shocking violent smack
and the children are hoping for a heart attack
tonight the windows are watching
the streets all conspire
and the lamppost can't stop crying

If I could fly high above the world
would I see a bunch of living dots
spell the world stupidity?
or would I see hungry lover homicides
Loving brother suicides
And olly olly oxen frees
Who pick a side and hide

The world is scratching at my door
my morning papers got the scores
the human interest stories
and the obituary
oh yeah

cockroach naps
rattling traps
how many devils can you fit upon a match head?
caringosity killed the Kerouac cat
sometimes truth is stranger than fiction

In my alley around the corner
there's a wino with feathered shoulders
and a spirit giving head for crack
he'll never want it back
theres a little kid and his family
eating crackers like thanksgiving
and a pack of wild desperadoes scornful of living

The world is scratching at my door
my morning papers got the scores
the human interest stories
and the obituary
oh yeah

Cradle for a cat
Wolfe looks back
How many angels can you fit upon a match?
I want to know why Hemingway cracked
sometimes truth is stranger than fiction

Life is
the crummiest book
I ever read
there isn't a hook
just a lot of cheap shots
pictures to shock
and characters an amateur would never dream up

sometimes truth is stranger than fiction

I'm in Brewed Awakening right now trying to do work, and they're playing "You're Beautiful".

This is definitely a symbol for something.

I cannot for the life of me explain it, but every now and then I get bowled over with the unquenchable desire to have never moved away from Manitoba, to have grown up there and lived there forever and ever. And I feel like dropping everything, EVERYTHING, future be damned, and go move back to the scorching heat and mosquitoes and that prairie air, the dusty tall Winnipeg buildings and the thirty below weather and the snow too cold to pack and my screaming cousins and oppressive religion and the insufferable meanness and incomprehensible kindness and seasoned fries at Tasti's Drive-In and the Warenkis at Kopper Kettle and everything else too big to have stayed the same.

And I think man, I could probably use some therapy.

Anyways. I never update this anymore, so a quick run-down in the life of Jesse, Shads style.

+ For those not in the knizz-ow, have been dating a girl named Hilary for a while. She is very wonderful. I met her through Alejandra. She is a Reedie. She is very smart. I like her lots.
+ And with her, am going to take ANOTHER FUCKING ROAD TRIP WOOOOOO in the last two weeks of August. Will go through the US then up through Canada. Psyched beyond the point of stupid.
= Still working at the bookstore. On the plus side, work is good, fun, easy-going, and co-workers are great. On the downside, have to be there at 7:30 AM most days and I never get more than 25 hours.
= So am now tele-working for my dad again. The goods and bad for that are too complex to list.
= Also have a car! My mom and dad teamed up and bought me a 2008 Honda Fit plus insurance for a year (Our upward mobility is officially complete). Of course it's awesome to have wheelz and it makes Eugene visits so much easier, but it's also weird to have around Portland. I'm definitely walking and busing less, though I don't really want to, and of course gas and maintenance is a drain. We'll see how this develops yet*.
- Chlamydia still hasn't quiiiiiite gone away. Taking another round of antibiotics to zap it, and they seem to be working, but it's been a friggin' pain, to say the very very least.
- Haven't been writing as much as I should. In fact, barely at all. This is a problem.
+ Oddly enough however, grad school apps are looking up. Taking the GRE next Wednesday. Yeeks. Nervous but kinda excited (It feels good to be doing school-ish stuff again. I'm silly I know, shut up.)
- Gained a lot of weight back. Just been sliding. Lame.
+ My desk is clean. Holy shit.

*About the car. To all my Portland buddies lacking wheelz (which is, y'know, most of my Portland buddies), consider my car yours for any favors needed. I've been privy to many a car-owner's generosity in the last three years, and I now wish to return the favor. So if you're ever like "Man, it'd be really nice if I had a car for this" call me. Seriously. Even if you haven't seen me for a while. I won't mind, moreover, I'll just be happy to see you. Jesse's car is open for service.

"Wash, tell me I'm pretty."
"Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
"Because I'm pretty?"
"Because you're pretty."

I don't understand why people have to be mean and spiteful to each other. I don't understand why the well-being of others is low in the priorities of most.

I mean, yes, all you armchair sociologists, yes I understand what makes people hurt and in turn hurt others.

But I don't, either.

Much news in Jesse-land and much to talk about. HOWEVER, first I am gonna say y'all should take the time to read what I have below the cut. It's the transcription of the commencement speech Richard Pimentel (who was the main author of the Americans With Disabilities Act, among other things) gave at my graduation, and it's probably one of the best speeches I ever heard. It reads just about as well.

( Get up on this )

I'm on my way to a job interview! Shit! I'm gonna be late!

Wish me luck!

Wow. Wow. Uh. What a week.

I'm 21 now. Happy birthday to me.

She thinks she missed the train to Mars / She's out back counting stars
Well, I get to go graduate tomorrow morning.

I've had such a crazy past few days.

Also went to a couple Vanguard parties tonight. Nathan told me unprompted that he loved my graduation piece and thought it touched on really good points (I was really scared it came off terribly). Owen drunkenly shook my hand when I left Ed/David's house and said I was one of the best writers the Vanguard's ever had. A copy editor who I'd never met told me she knew who I was even though I didn't know who she was, and that she'd admired my work for the past year and thought I was a wonderful writer. There was other stuff too.

And I got Shane really drunk.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Tomorrow should be fun though. Tomorrow should be fun.

Make me happy while skies are grey
Hey.

I want everybody to reply to this and tell me about something/someone you love and why.

Consider it a graduation present to me.

Conditioner help anyone?

I've been frying my hair with bleach and funky colors for the last couple years (Unhealthy as sin, I know, I know) and I'd like to get some good conditioner in an attempt to get it healthy again. I'm willing to pay. I've been using some Burt's Bees regenerating stuff for the last few months but it's not quite doing the job I was hoping for.

Anyone have any personal conditioner recs, especially for those like me who've put their hair through the wringer?

Sometimes I forget what a good thing it can be to be scared shitless.

Laurelwood with my friend Annie and company, pool, aftermath of Eric's 21st, archiving, garage sales, Wild Turkey, Paradox, long MAXing, parade, horrible late-night reality shows, dreams, spiders, Taco Bell, oil changes, Kafka On The Shore, baseball, evening outdoor Wi-Fi. Wine and Sideways likely to follow.

This weekend will bite me in the ass this week.

I had a really, really, really good weekend.